I am not sleeping because I am stressed, I am stressed because I am not sleeping...can you see this vicious circle right in front of your eyes?
|Lost in Thought - Kurt Halsey|
So I figured if I wrote down about why I am stressed it might help, are you sitting comfortably it is very much a roller coaster from here on out
I am just 2 weeks away from starting a course in makeup artistry, this is a good thing you would imagine and whilst I am completely buzzing about training in a new career I really want (If you follow me on twitter you will know it is my deepest passion in life), I cant help but fear the unknown.
I am scared that I will not be accepted buy my fellow classmates due to the fact I have a prosthetic eye (yes that's right I lost my eye in a trauma when I was 8...that's a whole other story), I mean will they want to work with me or on my face? this has never been an issue for me before, I tell practically everyone I meet, hell I'm even putting it out there on the tinternet to 16 followers and whoever might stumble upon my little blog. I think the real issue here is that I HAVE to tell them. I don't have an option, they need to know what they are working with right?
I am super panicked by finding my way around London, finding the college, finding the nearest Costa...this is odd for me because I love that London, I do however stick to the same places of interest and don't venture in to the unknown unaccompanied.
Travel had me in a state last night, I was looking at journeys that firstly were over 2 hours long I whittled this down by changing my destination station but this meant I had 3 connections and a bus ride! Arrrggghhh! Luckily I had some advice from a dear friend who calmed me down, then today at work someone heard me talking about my mini travel breakdown and chirped in "why don't you just get the bus" pah! The bus will take me forever...oh no wait it wont it will take just over an hour with a 5 min tube journey...AND its cheaper...score, problem solved (other than the fact I have to be a bus wanker, but whatever!).
Ok so that is college sorted now on to the woe that is money...my course was so darn expensive it hurt...and this is the time, after Christmas and paying out for travel etc that it is really smacking me down...I have a budget, its tight, but I have to stick to it so I can save money for my MUA kit. I need the savings for portfolio work and of course makeup
Ok so that's it, well almost, work is killing me but that's nothing new, my back is in agony but I have painkillers for that, my face is like a dot to dot and my legs are for some reason covered in bruises...Joy!
In conclusion am I happy? YES even with all the stress I am still happy, I am sure that come the time for college I will be more tired than ever (working 5 days and at college for 1) but I am hopping the stress will ease and I will be able to focus on the positives...for now though I am bricking it!
If you got this far, I salute you!